Boobs

Apparently boob jobs were the number one graduation gift a few years back. I don’t know if this is still the case but there are still a lot of women getting their boobs done. In Venezuela President Hugo Chavez recently spoke out against breast implants as Venezuela is one of the top countries for the procedure. Now I’m not a big fan of Chavez, but I wish more men would speak out against implants ‘cause let’s be truthful for a minute, women do it for them. I don’t care what anyone says, women get breast implants to appear more attractive to men.

Oh what, you want me to think you’re doing it for me? If you are doing it for me the only reaction you'll get is my pity because you clearly have a lack of self esteem. Oh you did it for yourself? Why? Because it’s in our genetics to want big boobs? Because you were predestined to have big boobs? Those are the only two excuses that don’t involve society telling you you need bigger boobs and who do you need bigger boobs for? Men!

Now I am an A cup with space so I think I have a right to talk about this and I can tell you that I have never had trouble succeeding in life because of my boobs. I have never lost a job because my boobs were too small, I have never lost friends because my boobs were too small and I have never had trouble attracting guys with my small boobs. What I do know for sure is that everyone likes boobs. They’re fun to grab and squeeze and they turn everyone on. If it’s a big concern don’t lie on your back. Every small girl knows you get into bed and get onto your side!

The other thing I know for sure is that I would never want to date a guy who only likes women with big fake breasts ‘cause let’s be serious, if you hook up based on your boob size, you aren’t going to have much to talk about after a few dates. Do you really want to be with a guy who only likes you for your boobs? He sounds like a pretty shallow, rich, arrogant...oh! That's why you want fake boobs! You want to be in a loveless relationship with lots of money! Well, I hope all that money can buy you some books to read to fill all the boredom of having to be with him. Call me old fashioned but anyone can shove silicone into their chest, that's not unique. Who you are is what makes you unique and isn't that what people should fall in love with? I don’t care how dumb you are inside, we’re all feeling humans and I can’t help but feel sorry for a woman that is ignored because her breasts enter the room first. 

I also have a problem with parents buying their daughters boob jobs for gifts. I have the same problem with parents buying their kids cars. If you want to help your child pay for school or a down payment on a house, I get it. It’s an investment that will have a great return. But boob jobs and cars need to be earned. You need to get a job and save up for those things. Not only will it teach you to be mature and responsible, but once you have the money necessary you will feel a sense of accomplishment and hopefully choose instead to put that money towards an education. The current teenagers and 20 somethings can be real assholes and there is a direct correlation between their behaviour and the way they were brought up. Guilt ridden parents who got divorced or both work all day slather their kids with gifts to make them feel loved so that the parents don’t actually have to take the time to love them.

Oh wait a minute, maybe if you had taken the time to love your child they wouldn’t hate their bodies so much...hmmm.

Look, everyone thinks their kid is the greatest thing ever and you should make them feel special and loved, but that doesn’t mean your kid is more special than other people and they shouldn’t have a sense of entitlement. Buying your kid cars and boobs give them this sense and makes them real assholes for the rest of us to deal with. Teach them respect and a love of learning and they’ll make their own money to buy a car, and hopefully grow a brain to realize how shallow a boob job is (no pun intended).

I’d like to add that I realize there are certain times where a boob job may be necessary, like if a woman has had a mastectomy, if there has been an accident or birth defect, or if a man has gone through all the proper therapy and is okay’d to undergo a sex change operation. If this is you, I get it. I hope you are okay and that having a breast augmentation can bring some normalcy and peace to your life. If you don’t fit into one of these categories, you should be happy you don’t and take a good look inside before trying to change the facade.